The Path to Freedom

“Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.” You hear these five words often when people talk about the five stages of grief. I’m going to talk to you today in this article about those five stages, but not in regards to a death, or someone I love being sick. I’m going to talk to you about the five stages of grief in regards to my own terminal illness. Denial When I found in May of 2016 that I had stage three glioblastoma, so many thoughts ran through my head. So many feelings. My first reaction though was denial. I left the doctor’s office in pure denial .I pretended for weeks that it wasn’t happening. I pretended that they were wrong. I told myself that there was no way that this was happening to me, it couldn’t be. I was twenty three, I was too young. So I tried going on with my life, ignored the calls from my doctor, and went on living my life. Until I couldn’t anymore. I couldn’t handle the fact that something like this had actually happened to me. I couldn’t

“Whenever you read a cancer booklet or website or whatever, they always list depression among the side effects of cancer. But, in fact, depression is not a side effect of cancer. Depression is a side effect of dying.” If you know this quote, then you have been one of the many who’ve read or watched the heartbreaking book or movie, The Fault In our Stars. I use this quote today because it is very fitting for the situation I’ve been facing for the past year of my life. It describes in so many ways how I’ve felt about everything that life has thrown at me with dealing with Glioblastoma, stage III. Also known as an   Anaplastic Astrocytoma. I’ve never really been the kind of person who’s ever got personal with my writing. I’ve written novels about people who aren’t real. I’ve written articles on puckermob about things I see in everyday life, but never have I ever been this personal when it comes to writing. Until I got cancer, anyway. I find that I have so much to say these day